Poetry/romance experts advice?

I have an extra credit assignment to compose a love poem for my Humanities class. it has to be long (like 30 lines or something) anyways, i usually never write this sort of stuff, so if you can bear with me...any CONSTRUCTIVE criticism would be appreciated. Thanks!





My Lady,


To you, I give myself.


To you, I give my strength, and protection.


To you, I give my loyalty, honor, unwavering support, and everlasting love.


To you I offer my past, present, and with heaven willing, my future.


For you are the woman I desire. You and none other,


For only in your presence am I truly at peace.


With only you in my arms, my soul is tranquil.


My heart races until finding rhythm with your own.


With you, it beats steady, matching beat for beat in absolute harmony.


Eternally devoted to that which it holds dearest.


My body is at ease, and my mind knows no limits.


The impossible becomes possible,


And when you kiss me, time stops.


And I honestly feel I can reach the stars.


Your scent,


Your taste,


Your touch,


Your grace,


Your beauty, wit, courage and essence;


Never before has Nature so outdone herself.


For in you, all boundaries are far exceeded. Poetry/romance experts advice?
Wow! I must say that makes me a little weak in the knees. I personally like it's imagery and it's flow. your choice of words is very expressive. I could see this being used as wedding vows. i think it is wonderful, considering this is your first attempt at poetry.





I think the only thing it really needs is a title.





Well, that is my humble and unprofessional opinion. I hope your teacher agrees. :)Poetry/romance experts advice?
and you say you have never written anything like this before? well you've got a talent

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wow, if you never write this sort of thing well you done v. good,


good luck on your marks, i feel you will get good grades

tarte